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The Zoo 1: Unborn
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Cockups.txt
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1992-10-23
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85 lines
@H@3COCK-UPS
@A@2Jude
@FHnewcentury24
@FAdiamond24
@FMpearl08
2
{2@1
1Here are a selection of humorous errors, from various sources which I found
1in this old book, in my grans house. It was called `Funny Ho Ho And Funny
1Fantastic' and was written by Denys Parsons. There still fairly good today
1(said with more than a slight hint of sarcasm). Lets face it the only reason
1I wrote this was to compete with Kult's one on Mr Michael Caine, but I'll
1never have his churned hats and midget ponies. Might as well turn it in now.
{1@2
2Hand your luggage to us - We will send it in all directions.
2ADVERT OF TOKYO FORWARDING AGENCY
2
2Sir Harry had his top lip caught under his lower teeth.
2FROM A NOVEL
2
2Parrot disease fears - R.S.P.C.A. will arrange painless end for owners of
2birds.
2ESSEX PAPER
2
2This is the gate of heaven enter ye all by this door.
2This door is kept locked because of the draught.
2SEEN AT CUMBERLAND CHURCH
2
2Father of ten shot dead - mistaken for a rabbit.
2HEADLINE IN NEW YORK PAPER
2
2Model willing to pose for nude artist.
2CARD IN SHOP WINDOW
2
2The evening of clairvoyance on Tuesday 4th December at 7pm has been cancelled
2owing to unforseen circumstances.
2NOTICE IN EAST KENT TIMES
2
2In the handicrafts exhibition at Wordsley Community Centre, the contribution
2of Misses Smith was `smocking and rugs' and not `smoking drugs' as stated in
2last weeks report.
2COUNTY EXPRESS, STOURBRIDGE
2
2Cultured ex-lithographer, white, 45, with gold teeth, desires to get in touch
2with seven or eight musically inclined ladies in search of adventure.
2CUPID'S COLUMNS, St. PAUL
2
2Customers having left garments that are now over 30 days, are to be dispposed
2of.
2CLEANERS' NOTICE
2
2"Why are you here today, Mr.....Lomax?", Alice stumbled over the unfamiliar
2name. Mark reached out his hand to help her to her feet.
2WOMAN'S WORLD
2
2A postcard sent to the address on page 15 secures a weeks supply of dental
2cream free. Get variety into your cooking.
2ESSEX PAPER
2
2Two Ford cars were travelling behind each other in the direction of
2Liverpool.
2LIVERPOOL PAPER
2
2The Rev. Dr Charles Brown's career has been a striking one. He started life
2at the age of eight...
2OXFORD PAPER
2
2Notice: Any persons paassing behond this point will be drowned - By order of
2the magistrates.
2SIGN IN ESSEX
2
2A gale attaining a velocity of 72 miles an hour swept over New York last
2night. Humourous persons were injured by falling signs and bricks.
2WEST INDIAN PAPER
2
2A kitten with two complete heads and three eyes has been born at Long Sutton.
2 * * * * * * * * * * *
2Mr G- of Long Sutton, a well known vetinary surgeon, has relenquished his
2practise to join the Church of England Ministry.
2SUNDAY PAPER
2
2Wanted- Gardener; must be experienced, or useless.
2ADVERT IN WILTS PAPER
X0*]